No useful data yet

- Day 126. No useful data yet. I've been keeping a close watch on the bitch who stole my body for over 4 months now, but I haven't found anything useful. She's just enjoying my life, spending my money, dating a new girl every night. I haven't seen anything that looks magical or sci-fi during my surveillance. But how the hell did she swap our bodies?! From Monday I will be able to monitor her for much less time. Unfortunately, I have no money left, so I had to take a waitress job in a diner. Unbelievable... I'll have to spend half of my time getting unwanted pats from yokels looking at me in a creepy way and the other half spying on my body thief who lives happily and carefree. But one day she will take a misstep, and I will find out how to get my money, my home, my gender, my ethnicity, my body and my life back. I'll get it all back.

- Day 364. Tips at the diner have improved since the owner forced us to wear the new uniforms. The extra money partially pays for the humiliation of that little skirt. Oh yeah... No useful data. Yet.

No real damage

 

- "I don't think it's broken, thankfully. But you'll have to put ice on it." 

- "What did I tell you? No real damage." 

- "But you have to stop looking for trouble. You seem to like finding excuses to fight." 

- "Well, it's very satisfying actually. All my life I've been small and weak, and I couldn't gain muscle in any way. Now I finally have a body that makes me feel strong and confident." 

- "Too bad that body is mine! And I would appreciate it if you don't destroy it in the time it takes to figure out what happened to us and get back into our respective bodies." 

- "Destroy it? As I said before, "no real damage". And in fact, I'm improving it. In this month I have made it more athletic than before. In five or six months I will have an incredible body!" 

- "In five or six months I hope we will be ourselves again! What's wrong with you?!" 

- "Sorry, sorry, of course we will continue to look for a solution for our swap. But try to understand me... You know I've always been a tomboy, so for me it's a... unique experience. I can finally see the world with a man's eyes. A tall, strong man. Nobody looks at me as if I'm inferior, or adorable, or in need of help. And to be honest it's nice to have no more problems due to my skin color... " 

- "Yeah, there are really bad people out there... I noticed that this month."

 - "I'm sorry I had to pass this "problem" over to you... 

- "It's not your fault. But you can do something for me if you want to cheer me up." 

- "I could never say no to such a pretty girl." 

- "Ha ha ha. I'm serious." 

- "Ok, ok..." 

- "No more fights." 

- "Mmm..." 

- "Come on, you owe me! That's my body!" 

- "Ok, but on one condition." 

- "That is?" 

- "A date. This Saturday. You, me, a restaurant and a movie of your choice." 

- "I... but... what... You... Are you attracted to me?" 

- "Long before our swap. But now I feel pretty confident enough to ask you for a date. I know it's weird to ask my body for a date... but I'm attracted to who is inside it. You." 

- "I... I have to think about it... I would never have imagined..." 

- "I understand. But until that date or until we get back into our bodies, no "no fights" guarantee. Only "no real damage" guarantee." ;)

Uncomfortable bed, uncomfortable life

 

"Argh! Come on! There must be a more comfortable position! Even her bed is uncomfortable! Is there anything about my neighbor's life that doesn't get on my nerves?" 

Ever since my neighbor and I mysteriously swapped bodies, my life has been tremendously annoying. We are both 18 years old and in our last year of high school. But I was a popular football player, and she was a geek nerd. It is also for this reason that we have never become friends even though we have been neighbors for years. 

We are so different! Her bedroom is too childish, her clothes too feminine and out of fashion (I feel ridiculous wearing them!), her few friends are very boring, her mother is demanding in everything, her athletic skills are below zero... and even her bed is very uncomfortable! What the hell is that mattress?!

For the good of the kingdom

 

- "I don't understand. Why can't we let anyone know?" 

* voiceover *: "Because the kingdom cannot stand any more instability. The situation is already worrying after your father's death. We cannot tell the people that the sorcerer who killed their king has also cast a spell on the prince and the princess, before he is killed. We cannot let neighboring kingdoms know that the heir to the throne is in the body of a frail damsel. We would be vulnerable to their attacks. We must make them believe that the kingdom has stability despite the death of your father."  

- "But how long will we have to keep this secret, mother? How soon will I be able to return to my body?" 

- We don't know how long it will take. Some trusted soldiers are undercover searching for wizards who can help us. But it could take a long time. In the meantime, you and your sister will have to assume the roles of your bodies. This means your sister will be crowned king in three days. 

- "What?! But mother, the crown is MY destiny..." 

- "That's enough. I explained our predicament to you. We need a king in charge, and you can't be right now. Your younger sister will be the king until we find out how to reverse the spell. 

-"But..." 

- "You, in the meantime, will have to quickly learn how to behave like a princess. You will be required to maintain a feminine and graceful demeanor, appropriate to your role. In a month there will be the ball for your sister's (now yours...) 20th birthday, and there will be many princes from neighboring kingdoms. It will be necessary to marry one of them to strengthen our alliances, so you must be ready to strike them with your grace, "princess". 

- "Mother, you can't be serious..." 

- "I am very serious. And you will obey, for the good of the kingdom. Do I make myself clear?" 

- "..." 

- "It is polite to answer when your mother talks to you." 

- "For the good of the kingdom..." 

- "Exactly. Now it will be better to start your training. You will have to start getting used to move gracefully in uncomfortable women's formal dresses."

Nothing left of me

 

"It's not my reflection. It's not me. No." 

I feel like I am inside a bubble. Time has slowed down. It is a traumatic moment to say the least. For the first time since I underwent this damn transformation, I surrendered to my sister's demands. For several days she has been pestering me asking to let her do my makeup for the first time. I didn't think looking in the mirror after she finished would be such a shock. But for the first time, I no longer see anything of the old me. The person I saw in the mirror for 23 years is 100% missing. There is nothing left of me.

Witch hunt

 - "You know what? I give up. This hunt ends here for me." 

* voiceover *: "What?! You can't give up now! After everything we've done to get here! After all we've sacrificed!" 

- ""We've sacrificed"? "WE"?! The only person who has lost everything is me. You told me it was going to be an easy job. You spotted a witch and convinced me that we could have stolen a lot of precious magical items. Too bad that witch knew how to defend herself! Each time she manages to escape. And every time before disappearing she throws a curse against us. And the curse hits me EVERY TIME! The first time she turned me into a girl. And I foolishly kept chasing the witch hoping to find out how to reverse the spell. The second time she changed my ethnicity and my accent. I became an undocumented Indian immigrant girl! I should have given up at that point... But stupidly I let you persuade me to continue. And she cursed me a third time. Now I'm not just a 25 year old Indian girl, but a 40-something year old Indian woman! Every time my situation gets worse. So I don't care what you can offer me: I give up. I don't want to make my life any worse. Best wishes with your witch hunt. If you manage to catch her or get some magical item from her that can give me my life back, let me know. Goodbye."

Gossip magazine

- "What's up? Why are you looking at me like that?"  

* voiceover 1: "Well, we've never seen you reading a gossip magazine, Mark..." 

* voiceover 2: "Yeah, you usually read science journals or historical novels. Are you sure you're feeling good?" 

- "Sure! I'm not particularly interested in this gossip magazine, but I feel relaxed reading it. First I tried to read one of my scientific journals, but I understood very little of that and I got a headache. Reading this one seems more... "natural". 

1: "Mmm, apparently that machine didn't just swap bodies between you and Kate, but other elements as well. The situation gets even more complicated." 

2: "We have to find a way to repair it and exchange you as soon as possible! If it has also exchanged your intellects and parts of your personalities, the situation is even more serious!" 

- "Like, sure! We have to hurry up and fix it. But I don't think I can help you much by now. All those codes and those circuits confuse me... Even thinking about them gives me a headache." 

1: "Without your help it will be even more difficult, but we will do our best..." 

2: "Don't worry Mark, we won't give up until we get your body and intellect back. And we could ask Sarah for help. She probably has your intellect and could make our job a lot easier." 

- "Well... I don't think she has much time to devote to repairing that machine... There is a rumor on campus that she is spending a lot of time with Sally, her best friend. The one who has always had a crush on me." 

1: "Oh. Oh... This situation keeps getting more and more complicated."

Family dinners

* fake smile * "Sure, mom." * sigh *

I think I'm about to explode. These family dinners are torture now. It was not like that once. My first 23 years of life my parents left me free to live my life as I wanted. But since that virus changed my y chromosomes to x chromosomes, everything has changed. My father became overprotective, and stopped inviting me to games. I still love sports! Now he spends a lot more time with my brother. 

But the one I can't stand is my mother! She keeps taking me shopping or to the hairdresser every weekend. Every month she tries to introduce me to at least a couple of "perfect boyfriends for me". She can't accept that I don't feel ready to date anyone! I haven't even figured out yet if I prefer boys or girls in this body! And during family dinners she keeps asking me awkward questions. Questions about my love life. Questions about what I think of my "male friends". Questions about when I'm going to give her grandchildren! Questions and advice about my "monthly visitor"! Not to mention the tips on how to dress, comb my hair, talk, walk, etc... I decided to follow some of those tips hoping that she would be satisfied, but now it's even worse! One more word on the need to "behave in a feminine way to find a man" and I'm off!

The stripper

"I don't care if you're exhausted! We'll keep looking for that bitch who stole my body! I specifically told you I didn't want strippers at my bachelor party. And you ignored me! And the stripper you hired stole my body! I don't know how, I don't know why, but she ran away with MY BODY! Now I'm trapped in this blonde woman's body, and I have to get married in two days! TWO DAYS! I don't think it would be easy to explain the situation to Ellen and her family. So let's keep looking. And don't try to complain, because it's all your fault!"

Only my contempt

"I don't care what you do or threaten. You defeated me in battle. You defeated all of our armies. You took my brother and sister hostage, to control me. You turned me into a woman, to destroy my fighting spirit. You forced me to become your consort and dress as a woman, to humiliate me. You forced me to give you an heir, to satisfy your thirst for revenge. But you will never break me. And you will never have my love. Or affection. Or acceptance. You will have only my contempt, forever. And one day I will free my family and I can finally get my revenge on you, vile being."

Settle down

Woman on the left: "Why the hell are you styling your hair?" 

Woman on the right: "For the same reason I started wearing these uncomfortable women's clothes: to make my husband happy. He's very worried about my "change" these past few weeks."  

- "He is not your husband! And of course you have changed! You are not really his wife!" 

- "Keep your voice down! If anyone heard you we'd be in trouble! 

- "It couldn't get any worse than this anyway!" 

- "Oh, yes, it could be much worse. At best they would kick us out of the village, and for us it would be the end. We would be two women alone in the wild west. You must understand that we need protection now! And this community can provide it to us." 

- "I'd rather not have protection if it means being a "little wife" like you. I'm a straight man!" 

- "Me too. But I understood the situation, unlike you. And you should really start finding yourself a man. The woman you became was unmarried, but your father is old. Soon you risk being alone. You have to hurry up to find a husband!" 

- "He is not my father! My father will be born in more than a century! And I have no intention of looking for a husband. I have a dignity, unlike you. I will continue to look for a way to return to our time." 

- "I hope you succeed, but in 7 weeks we have not discovered anything... I think you should start getting used to this life." 

- "Never. NEVER!" 

- "You know we cannot repeat what happened to us when we awoke in these bodies. We were driving to a college party during a thunderstorm when lightning struck our car. We woke up in this village in 1847, and in this age there are no cars. And besides, it is probable that our bodies did not survive the lightning that struck us..." 

- "Shut up!" 

- "Okay, calm down. Maybe you will find a way. I no longer exclude anything in this world. And I certainly don't like this life. But in the meantime, I'll hold on to my man, and advise you to settle down quickly. This is not a world for a single woman."

Compensation

"Do you really think that I will sign this document? Do you think I will accept $ 200,000 in compensation for what you did to me? Look at me! I'm a chick! You ruined my life! And I will demand millions from your company! Many millions! See you in court!" 

* Tip: Never underestimate the armies of high-priced lawyers that a powerful multinational company can unleash. You may regret not accepting $ 200,000.

To understand the other gender (part 3)

"Mmm Let's see this link... It looks like a dead end, but I don't know where to look anymore..." 

My best friend and I have been looking for some magical solution to my situation for months. I am now 7 and a half months pregnant, so I often stay at home and do research online. Meanwhile, he does research on the street. For now we have not discovered anything, and frankly I am starting to be very pessimistic. But I'm lucky to have a friend like him: in recent months he helped me get some false documents for my new identity and has hosted me at his house since pregnancy started making my life difficult. Nausea, aches all over the body, sudden cravings for strange foods, meaningless crying: it's really hard to be pregnant! I think I'm really starting to "understand the other gender"...

Ah, we found the baby's father, but he doesn't want to know anything about us. That bastard. But at least he's a rich bastard, so he gave me a lot of money to "leave him alone". My baby and I don't need him, whether I manage to transform into the baby's "father", or I remain trapped in his mother's body. At worst, my friend assured me that he will always be there for us, so my son will still have a "father figure".

And to be honest, even if I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones talking, I'm starting to think he's really cute... Well, let's hope we find some counter spells quickly, to avoid "further problems"! My life is complicated enough!

[The End?]

To understand the other gender (part 2)

- "I screwed up, right?" 

- "Yup. Definitely." 

- "Your tact is incredible. Is there a way to fix it? There must be something we can do!" 

- "I don't think so... Not with this book. The text is clear: the conception of a child makes the spell permanent." 

- "I can't believe it! I drank less than usual in that bar! I was in shock because of my transformation and wanted to relax with a couple of beers. Yet I got completely drunk, and now I have ruined my life!" 

- "Obviously it takes very little to get you drunk... you are very small compared to how you were three weeks ago!" 

-"Don't remind me..." 

- "But don't talk about "ruined life". Maybe you'll like being a mommy. That baby could make you happy..." 

- "Stop talking or I'll start hitting you." 

- "You don't look like a big threat right now." 

- "Shut up! I'm not in the mood for jokes! Do you understand the situation!?" 

- "Ok, sorry, sorry. I just wanted to defuse this mess." 

- "I can't believe one night of alcohol was enough to lose my body! In 3 days the full moon would be back and we could have cast the spell of that damn book!" 

- "Come on! It's not over! A month ago we didn't know that magic existed. Maybe someday we'll find a way to transform you back into your male version." 

- "I hope you are right..." 

- "I'm always right! But in the meantime... we should contact the baby's father. As long as you remember something about that night..."

To understand the other gender (part 1)

"So this is the face I'm going to have for the next month? Argh... It's adorable. But the problem is that it means taht I AM adorable! Why me?!" 

A few days ago my best friend and I found a strange book left by a previous owner in the attic of my new home. It looked like the classic "book of spells", and contained some strange formulas in incomprehensible languages. One of the few spells written in English was titled "To understand the other gender", and it was possible to cast it on the night of full moon. To have fun we decided to give it a try, and I volunteered to read the formula. Getting information about women by magic sounded interesting, even though we clearly didn't believe it actually worked. Nothing happened, as we expected, but the next day when I woke up I understood what the spell was for: it didn't serve to make me understand the female world, but to make me directly a member of the weaker sex! Same eyes, same hair color, but the rest of me is completely unrecognizable! And why am I so petite?! 

And to be able to cast the spell again, I'll have to wait for the next full moon, next month! Luckily, college classes aren't compulsory, at least... But it's still going to be a terrible and disturbing month! I need a drink. Something alcoholic. Now!

Ultimatum to keep the job

- "It's ridiculous! How can it be legal?!" 

- "It could have been worse. You could have lost your job."  

- "That doesn't make my present situation any less terrible!" 

- "Well, they gave you a choice. You chose this option." 

- "It wasn't a choice, it was an ultimatum." 

- "The situation was complicated. The company had to hire at least one woman and one Hispanic under the new law. They didn't want to fire their employees, but they couldn't even afford to make new hires in this time of crisis... So they had to choose an employee to ask for a sacrifice..." 

- "It was more than just a "sacrifice"! They forced me to give up my gender and my ethnicity! They told me that if I didn't undergo the procedure they would be forced to fire me! They chose me because they knew that I can't lose my job. I don't have a degree and have a criminal record for stealing beer in a supermarket when I was 18. I couldn't find any other job that would allow me to support my two children. They practically forced me." 

- "At least the procedure was not painful. With the new technologies these transformations are completed in a couple of days and are painless. And they also told that your body will be able to undergo another procedure in some time, so you can get your body back one day." 

- "My body won't be able to undergo another procedure for least 7-8 years! And the term" painless "is not entirely true. Stomach pain and nausea lasted the entire time of the transformation." 

- "I'm sorry, buddy..." 

- "My life is ruined... I am literally a single mother!" 

- "Listen, I'll buy you a beer after work. You need to get some distraction." 

-Ok, I accept. But don't you dare to flirt with me. It's always me, remember it. We are just friends." 

- "Sure! And then you're not my type at all..." 

- "I hope so for your sake."

I finally have a daughter!

 "Well, there's this guy... He's nice. He makes me laugh a lot. We met during the courses this semester. Now he has asked me to study together, as he has difficulty with the last exams. I don't know what to do, I think he likes me, but I'm a bit confused... I've never had a boyfriend, but maybe..." 

* Voiceover *: Finally! Finally I don't see her depressed and melancholy anymore! The second year of college is going much better than the first for my daughter. And finally we are having "girl talks", as I've always dreamed of! I was beginning to fear that I had ruined my son's life when I secretly gave him the potion in the summer before his freshman year of college. His screams the morning he woke up in his, or her, new body... All those crying. Those months of depression. She hardly spoke anymore. But finally for a few months she has been much better! She's "himself" again, but plus I finally have the daughter I've always dreamed of! We went shopping several times (although she complained a little at first). And now she's starting to talk to me about boys! I'm so happy! If this continues, in a few years I might reveal that I am responsible for her transformation... If she is happy in her new life, she will be angry with me, but in the end she will forgive me. 

But after all this time I still don't understand why the potion changed her ethnicity too... I hadn't asked the wizard for a potion to have an Asian daughter! And I wasn't expecting glasses either. Well, I think it's not important after all... the important thing is that she has regained serenity. And that I finally have a daughter!

We'll make it!

-"Hey, don't lose hope. Curl up on the ground and crying isn't helping us any. Look at me. We'll make it." 

-"We've found another dead end. It's always a dead end! How can you be sure we'll make it?"  

-"Because I'm not going to spend the rest of my life in a woman's body. And you don't want to get stuck in a man's body. So we'll do it, because we won't give up. We'll find a way to undo this curse. I promise." 

-"Ok... You're right... We can't give up!" 

After 3 months it's hard not to lose hope, but we can't give up. Each attempt brings us closer to victory. We will get our bodies back sooner or later! And I must admit that during this "adventure" I have grown fond of this girl in my body... When everything is back to normal I think I'll ask her for a date!

The translation

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes!" 

It took me 2 years, but I did it! I managed to translate this damn manuscript! I will finally be able to use it to escape from this body and this life, as did the woman who ruined my life. But before she disappeared with my body, she at least had the decency to leave under her bed the manuscript she had used. If only she had also left the translation of it, she would have saved me 2 years of studies, as well as the frustration of living for 24 months in this body... 

But now this sad story is about to end! I just need to find my body, and I'll be able to repeat the swap. Or, if I can't find it quickly, I might consider getting another male body that I might like to keep. I would hate to condemn a poor soul to relive what I went through, but... better someone else than me!

Ultimatum

 

"I have to be strong. I wouldn't do that, but I gave her an ultimatum. I have to show her how serious I am. Here we go!" *zack*

 

This girl, 20 years old like me, is my nerdy neighbor. Three days ago she somehow managed to swap our bodies. She told me she needed "a short break from her life". I obviously yelled at her to give me my body back, but it was useless. Yesterday I gave her an ultimatum: if she hadn't canceled this swap by midnight, I would have started ruining her physical appearance. When she returns to her body, she will find it much worse than before! She deserves it! Starting with her hair. And if I don't get my body back tomorrow, I'll think of some other punishment! 

 

Spoiler: to convince someone to take their body back, ruining it is not the best strategy. The time required could be considerably longer...

I'm finally free

"He's dead. He's really dead. The person who kidnapped me years ago. The monster who changed my body on a molecular level through unknown medical procedures, turning me into a woman. The psychopath who forced me to become his wife by threatening my family. He died. I am finally free. After the funeral I'll go with the lawyer to sign the documents to inherit his fortune, and then I'll be able to go my own way. What should I do? Without his medical and scientific knowledge it's impossible for me to get my body back. Should I start a new life far from here, trying to forget everything? Or should I go back to my family? Would they believe me? Would they let me be a part of their lives? I don't know. I need time to reflect. But surely my life will be better from today. After years of humiliation, I'm finally free. I'm free."

300,000 views!

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I'm curious: which caption has been your favorite so far?

My sweet Becky

- "Becky, it's wonderful that you are here with me again! I knew that not even death could divide us!" 

- "I'm not Becky! I'm still James! I'm the same guy you kidnapped, I keep telling you! With that ritual you performed on me you didn't bring Becky back to life, but you transformed my body into hers!"  

- "Ssshhh My sweet Becky, you are still confused. In time you will remember who you are. After all, you have come a long way from the grave, so it's normal for you to feel weird." 

- "I'm not coming back from any grave! I'm JAMES! You kidnapped me while I was drunk after a college party. You tied me to the center of a strange circle and you read a formula in an ancient language, but you only managed to transform my body!" 

- "Oh, sweet Becky, how long I've been waiting to be able to caress you again!" 

- "Are you listening to me?! I don't know you! Please give me back my body! Or at least let me go!" 

- "Do you think I could allow you to leave this house? Oh, I don't think I can take the risk of losing you again. I will keep you safe. Here. With me. In this house. We will be happy. We will have a long and happy life. Together."

Worst. Lawyer. Ever.

"My lawyer is the worst lawyer ever. There's no other explanation." 

A year ago I fired my black maid because I caught her stealing from my house. She sued me, accusing me of firing her for racial reasons. I was sure of winning. I had footage of her stealing from my house, while she had no evidence. Yet after 8 months of trial... I lost in the worst possible way. I have no idea how it was possible! I was found guilty of aggravated racism and aggravated sexism! It was ridiculous! But anyway I thought I just had to pay a big compensation to the thieving maid. I was wrong. Apparently a new law against racism and sexism required me to undergo a series of operations and medical procedures to become a black woman myself! So I was held against my will in a government facility for 3 months... and I came out with a new, unwanted body. And I also found that the government transferred 85% of my assets to my former maid as moral compensation. So now I am poor, while she is much richer than me. This world is unfair. And my lawyer is definitely the worst in history.

Give me a sword!

"You have always been and always will be inferior to me! Ambushing me while I was hunting is proof that you have no honor. And using one of your filthy wizards to transform me into a woman shows that you are afraid of me! But if you think that this is enough to stop me, you are wrong! Free me from these chains and give me a sword, and I will show you that both in the body of a knight and in the body of a lady I am superior to you!"

Her lab assistant

"I don't care how hard it is! Find a way to swap our bodies again! I have a date with a girl tomorrow!" 

I shouldn't have taken this job! This woman was too weird! But I had just finished college, and she was willing to hire an inexperienced young man as her lab assistant. It seemed like a good opportunity to improve my curriculum. But I should have run away when I realized this woman was a mad scientist! Stupidly I decided to try to stay at least a couple of weeks... and here I am! After just one week she asked me to test neural helmets with her to communicate with thought. And due to a malfunction, the two of us mysteriously swapped bodies! This crazy woman better hurry and figure out how to get us back into the right bodies! I'm not going to spend days in this 35-year-old woman's body!

What did you just say?

- ""Kevin"? What did you just say? Did you call me Kevin?" 

- "What? Me? No..."  

- "Yes, I heard you clearly, you called me Kevin. And you are the first person to do it in two weeks, since I woke up in this body! Ben... why do you remember "the real me"?" 

- "I... I... it... could... maybe... be my fault..." 

-"WHAT!?" 

- "It was an accident! I swear it!" 

- "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" 

- "Well, three weeks ago I found an old book of spells in the attic. I enjoyed reading them, obviously believing they were fake. After a couple of days for fun I tried one of the easier spells ... and it worked! I was thrilled! I started planning a more complex spell that caught my attention: the spell "to create your ideal girlfriend." One night, two weeks ago, I thought I was ready to try the spell. I thought I would see "my ideal girlfriend" appear in front of me... but nothing happened. But the next morning, looking at my cell phone, I realized that I no longer had your number in my phone contacts. In its place was the number of a “Kim.” Asking our friends a few questions I realized that no one remembered Kevin: they all knew an Asian girl named Kim! Observing you during class it was evident that you remembered being Kevin. You behaved strangely and looked scared. Well... in order not to be hated by you I decided to pretend to remember only Kim, like the others... Otherwise you would have understood that the transformation was my fault! Please forgive me... You are my best friend..." 

- "Grrr! I can't believe it! It's all your fault! These hellish weeks were your fault! Argh! Okay, I'll have time for revenge. Now let's take care of the important things. So the book you found turned me into "your ideal girlfriend"... Which explains why I'm an Asian girl. I know Asians are your favorite kind of girls. But now answer me: how soon will you be able to transform me back?" 

- "I... well, I haven't looked for a solution yet. After this trouble I'm afraid to use that book again. It's too unstable! I was hoping that over time you would get used to this new life of yours... After all, you are a beautiful girl! Maybe, over time... *ouch* That punch hurt!" 

- "And many more will come if you don't stop talking nonsense and hurry to find a counter-spell, you idiot!"

The personality of the twins

Voiceover: "I'm more and more confused. Looking at her smile I don't recognize her! I'm her mother and I don't recognize her!" 

I don't understand. My twins have been acting weird for a month. My daughter has always been a gruff and aggressive tomboy. But for a month she has been very polite and sensitive. She has a sweet gaze, not her usual grim gaze. Yet deep in her eyes I perceive a deep sadness. I don't understand! And her brother had an opposite change! He was such a sensitive and quiet boy, but now he is bossy and aggressive. His look reminds me of his sister's previous one. Is it possible to have such a big personality change at 20? 

But there is more that worries me. During this month I have heard my daughter cry in her room almost every day. In front of me she tries to always be smiling, but I know that something is making her suffer. And there's more! Sometimes she seems almost scared of her brother... Why should she be afraid of him? So many questions... But when I try to talk to her, she changes the subject, or says "you wouldn't believe me", in a sad voice that breaks my heart. What should I do?

Breathe

"Okay. It's all right. Breathe. Keep calm. It's just your family." 

I've never been this nervous in my life. In a few seconds my parents and my sister will be walking through that door. They will see me for the first time since my transformation. I'm scared. What will they think? I explained them with messages and phone calls what happened to me... I told them about my misadventure with that evil witch of four months ago, and they believed me... They were just radiant to know I was fine. But seeing me in person will be different. My mother will see that I am no longer her "little boy". My father will realize that he has really lost his only son. My sister will see that I am no longer the older brother who has always protected her for the past 19 years, but a thin girl unable to protect anyone. They will see with their own eyes that Mark is no longer there. Maybe it was a mistake to contact them... Maybe I shouldn't have told them the truth. Maybe it would have been better if they thought I was just missing... I don't know. But now it's too late to change my mind. They are about to enter this room. I can only hope that they will continue to love me.

The melody in the woods

"Come on, nice rock, make some sound. Any sound. Give me some sign of life." 

Until 7 months ago Lucy was a young man, Lucas. One night while driving on a road in the woods, his car stopped. Lucas decided to go into the woods with a torch, to try to reach the nearby town. At one point he began to hear a strange, beautiful but mysterious melody. He decided to investigate. Big mistake.  

He continued to approach the source of the celestial melody, even though his body began to tremble in a strange way. He believed it was because of the cold and the agitation, but there was more. The vibrations of that melody were strange. Eventually Lucas reached the source: a rock among the trees. A very normal rock to the eye. Yet it gave off melodic vibrations. When Lucas came within inches to get a better look at it, the tremor of his body took over. Lucas felt his body change, transform. The clothes became much looser and the hair longer. Terrified, he ran away as fast as he could. After a few minutes of running, he tripped over his pants (now too baggy), and as he fell he hit his head and passed out. 

He woke up in the hospital of the nearby town: running he had almost reached it, and a passer-by had noticed him unconscious that morning. But waking up he had a surprise... his body had really changed... He was a she! The doctors believed that his words were due to the blow to the head. After two days Lucas realized that by telling the truth they would lock him up in an asylum. And he needed freedom, to be able to find that mysterious rock. It was his only hope. 

So he pretended he simply had amnesia, and got help to get some papers. Her new name was Lucy, at least until that rock was found. Lucy decided to move to that town, in order to continue her research on a daily basis. Unfortunately she had walked and run in the woods for a long time, and in the middle of the night... so it would not be easy to find he rock. And after 7 months the searches are still going on. In that wood there are many, many rocks...

Bad mother

"Hi! I came back early today. The supermarket closed early because of... WHAT THE...!?" 

"Hi..."mom"... I wasn't expecting you so soon... Do you remember Emily... my girlfriend?"

Of course I remember her, you bitch! She is MY girlfriend! Or at least she was until two weeks ago! The day when that shaman on the street, hearing us argue, decided to "show us the world through the eyes of the other". That idiot shaman!  

During the quarrel, she criticized me for dropping out of college and coming home, and I called her "loser" for being a supermarket cashier at nearly 50. From what the shaman said, the swap is meant to show us how difficult it is to be the other. But there is a small problem... While I am desperate for this body swap, my mother thinks it is "a funny experience". She is not learning anything! She is just having fun! At this rate I fear that the shaman's spell will never be broken. These two weeks have been terribly frustrating, yet I have done my best. I worked as a cashier, I tried to treat my mother with more respect and above all I agreed to behave like her in front of strangers, so as not to ruin her reputation. In return I just asked my mom to ask my girlfriend for a "pause for reflection" until we were back in our bodies... and now I discover that she was still secretly dating her! What a bitch!

Anger issues

"This is the worst breakfast of my life. Being married to a witch is a nightmare." 

But it's my fault. When I married her I knew she had magical powers. But she promised she would never use them against me! And she knew my flaws... She knew that sometimes I have "violent outbursts"... And then yesterday it was her fault! She kept making me nervous after a terrible day at work! It was her fault that I hit her! I thought she would understand that I was in a bad time and forgive me... but this morning I woke up in her body! On the bed she left a letter. She wrote me that when she gets home tonight we will talk about how to reorganize our relationship, and made it clear that until I prove to her that I can control my "anger issues", I can forget about getting my body back. All this sucks! I don't want to be stuck in my wife's body for who knows how long! And my eye hurts... Damn witch!

One more flower

"I can't believe it. One more flower in front of the house. And one more romantic note from a boy. With this one the count is three flowers and two boxes of chocolates... this week! From three different guys! This town it's full of psychopaths. I'm a boy, damn it!" 

Well, almost. More or less. Well... not physically, but in the heart. 

Up until two months ago I was a regular college student. Then one day I had a very high fever... and boom! The next morning my body had transformed, becoming a female version of myself! I immediately called my parents and after having convinced them of my identity we ran to the hospital. We discovered that I have a very rare genetic disease, of which only 7 other cases are known in the world... I literally had a chance in a billion. My bad luck is literally unbeatable. And there is no cure.

Long story short, I am currently off my studies, at least until I get used to my new body. I went back to live with my parents, and my mother is helping me a lot. I need her help, even if it's embarrassing. Even if at times it seems to me that she is almost happy to finally have a "daughter"... And this thought bothers me a lot. One of the main problems is that the news of my transformation has spread... and apparently it has made me very popular with local guys! I don't know what they find attractive in the hell I'm living in, but it's just making things worse for me. Being the center of attention and feeling observed by men are the last things I need in this complicated phase of stabilization! I hope it's just a fad, and that soon people forget about me and my immense misfortune.

Black hole radiation

Now that I'm back from my mission, I think back to everything I've been through these past 6 months. Being chosen for the first space mission aimed at approaching a black hole to study it has been the greatest honor of my life. We have gathered incredible data, and we have made a huge contribution to increasing human understanding of the universe. But there are still things I don't understand.

We knew that proximity to a black hole could expose me to still unknown radiation. And it's understandable, however strange and unpredictable, that such radiations changed my Y chromosomes, turning them into X chromosomes. But why has my ethnicity changed too? And why did the chromosomal change take place after one month and the racial one after twice as long? There are undoubtedly so many things we have yet to understand about the universe and its mysteries. 

But for now the questions that worry me most are two more. Is this transformation permanent? And above all... How will I tell my wife who I really am? The government has kept secret what happened during the mission, so she doesn't know anything... It will be difficult to accept! And it will be even more difficult to save our relationship...

Lady Eleanor

"Maybe I'd better accept that I'm Eleanor. I can't take this frustration anymore. I have to give up all the thoughts of my old life, or I'll go crazy. If I get my body back one day I'll be happy, but until then I have to stop thinking of myself as Tristan" 

Yes, until four months ago I was Prince Tristan, heir to the throne. But now I am in the body of Eleanor, my cousin. My cousin and I grew up together, due to the death of her parents. My parents have been raising her since she was 9. I was 10 at the time, and I was happy to no longer be "an only child". Playing with Eleanor was a lot of fun - she was a complete tomboy! And she remained a tomboy even growing up. Even after turning 20. She never appreciated the life of a court woman: she enjoyed playing with wooden swords and riding in the woods. 

In a small wood near the castle there was a wishing well, able to grant "wishes coming from the heart". Of course it was just an old peasant legend, but Eleanor has always had a thing for that well. Since she was little she has wanted to go there at least once a month, to make a wish. One day I asked her what she wanted so much, and she replied "I always wish the same thing: to be able to live my life as a noble man, free from the constraints of court women". I hugged her, understanding her pain and pressure. She was like a sister to me, after all. 

One morning, the day after one of my cousin's visits to the well, I woke up in her body! And Eleanor in mine! She too was shocked and scared. Apparently the wishing well had granted my cousin's wish in the end... but in an unexpected way! Instead of turning her into a boy, it gave her my life!

In these four months I have wished in front of the well to have my life back every day... but without results. Eleamor is helping me get used to this new life, and she feels sorry for me. She feels guilty about what happened... but at the same time I see that she is happy to live in my body. And I can understand her... her life is much more boring than mine... 

This situation is driving me crazy: I should be the prince, and I find myself being a lady! I hope the well will help me soon, but until then I can no longer think of myself as "Prince Tristan". It is too painful. For now at least, I'm Lady Eleanor, cousin of the heir to the throne.

The Chinese mirror

 "What the fuck!?" 

He is Ron, an archaeologist, specializing in ancient Chinese artifacts. Today he was working on an ancient mirror found in a secret room under the palace of an ancient Chinese dynasty. He was trying to find out its origins and dating. According to the inscription on the back of the mirror, there was an ancient and amusing legend: whoever had mirrored themselves in that mirror during a particular position of the stars, would have swapped their life with another person who had mirrored themselves during the course of the history. A mirror capable of swapping people's lives? Able to bend space-time? "What a ridiculous legend", Ron thought. But evidently it wasn't that ridiculous, because today the mirror lit up while he was looking at himself in it. And a moment later he was no longer "himself". The image in the mirror is now that of a Chinese noble woman from a few centuries ago. How is that possible? But the most important question is: will Ron be able to find out when the stars are back in position to attempt to escape this terrifying situation?

Here I am!

I'm back! 

I'm sorry I went missing for a month! 

In this period I will not be able to post often, but

know that I will not disappear permanently (not

without warning ahahah) ;)