Worst. Lawyer. Ever.

"My lawyer is the worst lawyer ever. There's no other explanation." 

A year ago I fired my black maid because I caught her stealing from my house. She sued me, accusing me of firing her for racial reasons. I was sure of winning. I had footage of her stealing from my house, while she had no evidence. Yet after 8 months of trial... I lost in the worst possible way. I have no idea how it was possible! I was found guilty of aggravated racism and aggravated sexism! It was ridiculous! But anyway I thought I just had to pay a big compensation to the thieving maid. I was wrong. Apparently a new law against racism and sexism required me to undergo a series of operations and medical procedures to become a black woman myself! So I was held against my will in a government facility for 3 months... and I came out with a new, unwanted body. And I also found that the government transferred 85% of my assets to my former maid as moral compensation. So now I am poor, while she is much richer than me. This world is unfair. And my lawyer is definitely the worst in history.