She's always the same

 

"She's always the same. When we watch a horror movie, she's always so tense and involved..."

 I'm happy to see that Alice has retained almost all of her personality despite the major change she's experienced. That we've both experienced.

Two months ago, a mysterious event occurred across the world: in an instant, the bodies of many people swapped, without warning or explanation. Alice and I were on vacation in Asia at the time, and we found ourselves in the bodies of two local passersby near us on the street. Luckily, a boy and a girl of similar age to ours. But unfortunately, we also found ourselves with bodies of the opposite gender! I went from being a 28-year-old boy to a 29-year-old girl, Alice from a 27-year-old girl to a boy of the same age. After the first few days of global chaos, we managed to prove our identities and return home. Obviously, the world is still in shock, but things are slowly returning to normal. 

It's hard to accept how much our lives have changed. Honestly, I don't like being a girl; I don't feel comfortable in this body. Alice and I are trying to help each other, but we still have a long way to go. For example, today she gave me a makeup lesson because "a beautiful girl like me needs to know some basics to enhance her face." It was incredibly boring and annoying... Overall, she's adjusting a little better, but she obviously has her problems too. We'll have to decide on new names within the next month, according to the government's decision. It will be an important symbolic step. We'll probably both choose names similar to our current ones: I'm thinking of switching from Josh to Josie, Alice will probably choose Allen. Incredible, I'll be engaged to an "Allen". Will I have to call him my boyfriend? Will I have to call myself his girlfriend? Will I be "Josie, Allen's girlfriend"? My head spins just thinking about it... too many things have changed and are changing. But amidst this chaos, seeing Alice be herself even in a different body makes me happy and relaxes me. It reminds me that my soulmate is still here beside me, ready to face every challenge with me.

But thinking about all this I'm missing the movie. Usually when Alice gets nervous during a horror movie, I hold her in my arms here on the couch to relax her. Should I do it again, like I always have? I'd show her that I'm still myself, and I think that would please her, too. But part of me would like it to be her doing the hugging, with those strong arms... Uh-oh, maybe as the days go by in this body I'm changing a little after all. I hope that doesn't happen to her too, or at least I think so... Well, let's say I hope she stays 90% the same Alice, but maybe I could accept a 10% of Allen every now and then...

No carbs

 -Friend: "If you keep looking at me like that I won't be able to eat. I already asked you, do you want some pizza?"

 -"No, no, I can't. Just tell me how it tastes. Please."

 -"Oh, come on, you're almost drooling. A slice of pizza won't hurt you."

 -"No, Akiko and her mother were clear. As long as I'm in her body, no carbs."

 -"And why do you follow all their orders? The bodyswap happened for mysterious reasons 3 months ago. You have the right to decide about your life."

 -"Don't say that. You make this situation seem "final". I prefer to follow their instructions, because then I still feel like "Jack", simply "guest in Akiko's body". If I start deciding how to live, I would feel more "owner of this body." And that's something I don't want."

 -"Ok, but you can't cancel yourself. To continue feeling like "Jack" you need to recover some of your habits. Like eating pizza with friends every now and then. Akiko will understand if you talk to her openly."

 -"Akiko maybe. Also because she is doing what she wants in my body. But her mother... Her mother is a dictator. She repeats to me every morning "A young lady doesn't eat sweets and carbohydrates". And she checks my weight every evening to make sure I'm not making her daughter fat! And food isn't the worst thing. When it comes to college grades she's much worse. She demands I get an A on every test, or she yells at me for hours. And you know I hate being scolded... Last week she made me cry.  Isn't it enough that I woke up in the body of an Asian girl with glasses? Does her mother have to treat me so badly?"

 -"Oh, man, I'm so sorry. I hope you figure out how to get back into your bodies soon."

 -"Oh bro, don't tell me about it..."

 -"Anyway, in the meantime... please stop staring at me with those eyes while I eat pizza! I'll lose my appetite and there will be two of us who won't be able to eat it!"

 -"Ok, sorry. But describe it to me later, please! Three months without pizza is agony!"

At least this one

"I don't know why I'm crying. I'm happy and I'm crying. Stupid hormones! But I'm really happy. I didn't think I'd get this back from my old life. This was one of my closest possessions, and it's mine again."

Three months ago I never thought I'd cry with joy to receive an object that was already mine as a gift, but many things have changed since then. My whole life has changed. 

April, a girl who goes to the same college as me, somehow managed to switch our bodies! And some witchcraft or magic keeps me from telling anyone who I really am. Apparently April had been jealous of me since day one of college, even though we barely knew each other. She wanted to be a Caucasian boy who was athletic and popular with girls. But my life wasn't perfect: I suffered enormously from my mother's death a year ago, and I'm still trying to recover from grief. But April didn't mind that, of course. Overnight she stole everything from me: my body, my family, my home, my gender, my race, and… everything that reminded me of my mother. I begged April several times to give me back some of my mother's things, but she always refused "to avoid looking weird". Monster. In order not to risk having problems stealing my life, she took away every physical memory of my mother! 

Until today, on my "new" birthday. Today she put a gift package in front of the door of her old (my new) house containing my mother's favorite carillon. I remember my mum used to put me to sleep with its melody. I'm delighted at the thought of having a part of her back with me! At least this one wasn't stolen from me. At least this one.

No useful data yet

- Day 126. No useful data yet. I've been keeping a close watch on the bitch who stole my body for over 4 months now, but I haven't found anything useful. She's just enjoying my life, spending my money, dating a new girl every night. I haven't seen anything that looks magical or sci-fi during my surveillance. But how the hell did she swap our bodies?! From Monday I will be able to monitor her for much less time. Unfortunately, I have no money left, so I had to take a waitress job in a diner. Unbelievable... I'll have to spend half of my time getting unwanted pats from yokels looking at me in a creepy way and the other half spying on my body thief who lives happily and carefree. But one day she will take a misstep, and I will find out how to get my money, my home, my gender, my ethnicity, my body and my life back. I'll get it all back.

- Day 364. Tips at the diner have improved since the owner forced us to wear the new uniforms. The extra money partially pays for the humiliation of that little skirt. Oh yeah... No useful data. Yet.

No real damage

 

- "I don't think it's broken, thankfully. But you'll have to put ice on it." 

- "What did I tell you? No real damage." 

- "But you have to stop looking for trouble. You seem to like finding excuses to fight." 

- "Well, it's very satisfying actually. All my life I've been small and weak, and I couldn't gain muscle in any way. Now I finally have a body that makes me feel strong and confident." 

- "Too bad that body is mine! And I would appreciate it if you don't destroy it in the time it takes to figure out what happened to us and get back into our respective bodies." 

- "Destroy it? As I said before, "no real damage". And in fact, I'm improving it. In this month I have made it more athletic than before. In five or six months I will have an incredible body!" 

- "In five or six months I hope we will be ourselves again! What's wrong with you?!" 

- "Sorry, sorry, of course we will continue to look for a solution for our swap. But try to understand me... You know I've always been a tomboy, so for me it's a... unique experience. I can finally see the world with a man's eyes. A tall, strong man. Nobody looks at me as if I'm inferior, or adorable, or in need of help. And to be honest it's nice to have no more problems due to my skin color... " 

- "Yeah, there are really bad people out there... I noticed that this month."

 - "I'm sorry I had to pass this "problem" over to you... 

- "It's not your fault. But you can do something for me if you want to cheer me up." 

- "I could never say no to such a pretty girl." 

- "Ha ha ha. I'm serious." 

- "Ok, ok..." 

- "No more fights." 

- "Mmm..." 

- "Come on, you owe me! That's my body!" 

- "Ok, but on one condition." 

- "That is?" 

- "A date. This Saturday. You, me, a restaurant and a movie of your choice." 

- "I... but... what... You... Are you attracted to me?" 

- "Long before our swap. But now I feel pretty confident enough to ask you for a date. I know it's weird to ask my body for a date... but I'm attracted to who is inside it. You." 

- "I... I have to think about it... I would never have imagined..." 

- "I understand. But until that date or until we get back into our bodies, no "no fights" guarantee. Only "no real damage" guarantee." ;)

Witch hunt

 - "You know what? I give up. This hunt ends here for me." 

* voiceover *: "What?! You can't give up now! After everything we've done to get here! After all we've sacrificed!" 

- ""We've sacrificed"? "WE"?! The only person who has lost everything is me. You told me it was going to be an easy job. You spotted a witch and convinced me that we could have stolen a lot of precious magical items. Too bad that witch knew how to defend herself! Each time she manages to escape. And every time before disappearing she throws a curse against us. And the curse hits me EVERY TIME! The first time she turned me into a girl. And I foolishly kept chasing the witch hoping to find out how to reverse the spell. The second time she changed my ethnicity and my accent. I became an undocumented Indian immigrant girl! I should have given up at that point... But stupidly I let you persuade me to continue. And she cursed me a third time. Now I'm not just a 25 year old Indian girl, but a 40-something year old Indian woman! Every time my situation gets worse. So I don't care what you can offer me: I give up. I don't want to make my life any worse. Best wishes with your witch hunt. If you manage to catch her or get some magical item from her that can give me my life back, let me know. Goodbye."

Ultimatum to keep the job

- "It's ridiculous! How can it be legal?!" 

- "It could have been worse. You could have lost your job."  

- "That doesn't make my present situation any less terrible!" 

- "Well, they gave you a choice. You chose this option." 

- "It wasn't a choice, it was an ultimatum." 

- "The situation was complicated. The company had to hire at least one woman and one Hispanic under the new law. They didn't want to fire their employees, but they couldn't even afford to make new hires in this time of crisis... So they had to choose an employee to ask for a sacrifice..." 

- "It was more than just a "sacrifice"! They forced me to give up my gender and my ethnicity! They told me that if I didn't undergo the procedure they would be forced to fire me! They chose me because they knew that I can't lose my job. I don't have a degree and have a criminal record for stealing beer in a supermarket when I was 18. I couldn't find any other job that would allow me to support my two children. They practically forced me." 

- "At least the procedure was not painful. With the new technologies these transformations are completed in a couple of days and are painless. And they also told that your body will be able to undergo another procedure in some time, so you can get your body back one day." 

- "My body won't be able to undergo another procedure for least 7-8 years! And the term" painless "is not entirely true. Stomach pain and nausea lasted the entire time of the transformation." 

- "I'm sorry, buddy..." 

- "My life is ruined... I am literally a single mother!" 

- "Listen, I'll buy you a beer after work. You need to get some distraction." 

-Ok, I accept. But don't you dare to flirt with me. It's always me, remember it. We are just friends." 

- "Sure! And then you're not my type at all..." 

- "I hope so for your sake."

I finally have a daughter!

 "Well, there's this guy... He's nice. He makes me laugh a lot. We met during the courses this semester. Now he has asked me to study together, as he has difficulty with the last exams. I don't know what to do, I think he likes me, but I'm a bit confused... I've never had a boyfriend, but maybe..." 

* Voiceover *: Finally! Finally I don't see her depressed and melancholy anymore! The second year of college is going much better than the first for my daughter. And finally we are having "girl talks", as I've always dreamed of! I was beginning to fear that I had ruined my son's life when I secretly gave him the potion in the summer before his freshman year of college. His screams the morning he woke up in his, or her, new body... All those crying. Those months of depression. She hardly spoke anymore. But finally for a few months she has been much better! She's "himself" again, but plus I finally have the daughter I've always dreamed of! We went shopping several times (although she complained a little at first). And now she's starting to talk to me about boys! I'm so happy! If this continues, in a few years I might reveal that I am responsible for her transformation... If she is happy in her new life, she will be angry with me, but in the end she will forgive me. 

But after all this time I still don't understand why the potion changed her ethnicity too... I hadn't asked the wizard for a potion to have an Asian daughter! And I wasn't expecting glasses either. Well, I think it's not important after all... the important thing is that she has regained serenity. And that I finally have a daughter!

We'll make it!

-"Hey, don't lose hope. Curl up on the ground and crying isn't helping us any. Look at me. We'll make it." 

-"We've found another dead end. It's always a dead end! How can you be sure we'll make it?"  

-"Because I'm not going to spend the rest of my life in a woman's body. And you don't want to get stuck in a man's body. So we'll do it, because we won't give up. We'll find a way to undo this curse. I promise." 

-"Ok... You're right... We can't give up!" 

After 3 months it's hard not to lose hope, but we can't give up. Each attempt brings us closer to victory. We will get our bodies back sooner or later! And I must admit that during this "adventure" I have grown fond of this girl in my body... When everything is back to normal I think I'll ask her for a date!

Worst. Lawyer. Ever.

"My lawyer is the worst lawyer ever. There's no other explanation." 

A year ago I fired my black maid because I caught her stealing from my house. She sued me, accusing me of firing her for racial reasons. I was sure of winning. I had footage of her stealing from my house, while she had no evidence. Yet after 8 months of trial... I lost in the worst possible way. I have no idea how it was possible! I was found guilty of aggravated racism and aggravated sexism! It was ridiculous! But anyway I thought I just had to pay a big compensation to the thieving maid. I was wrong. Apparently a new law against racism and sexism required me to undergo a series of operations and medical procedures to become a black woman myself! So I was held against my will in a government facility for 3 months... and I came out with a new, unwanted body. And I also found that the government transferred 85% of my assets to my former maid as moral compensation. So now I am poor, while she is much richer than me. This world is unfair. And my lawyer is definitely the worst in history.

What did you just say?

- ""Kevin"? What did you just say? Did you call me Kevin?" 

- "What? Me? No..."  

- "Yes, I heard you clearly, you called me Kevin. And you are the first person to do it in two weeks, since I woke up in this body! Ben... why do you remember "the real me"?" 

- "I... I... it... could... maybe... be my fault..." 

-"WHAT!?" 

- "It was an accident! I swear it!" 

- "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" 

- "Well, three weeks ago I found an old book of spells in the attic. I enjoyed reading them, obviously believing they were fake. After a couple of days for fun I tried one of the easier spells ... and it worked! I was thrilled! I started planning a more complex spell that caught my attention: the spell "to create your ideal girlfriend." One night, two weeks ago, I thought I was ready to try the spell. I thought I would see "my ideal girlfriend" appear in front of me... but nothing happened. But the next morning, looking at my cell phone, I realized that I no longer had your number in my phone contacts. In its place was the number of a “Kim.” Asking our friends a few questions I realized that no one remembered Kevin: they all knew an Asian girl named Kim! Observing you during class it was evident that you remembered being Kevin. You behaved strangely and looked scared. Well... in order not to be hated by you I decided to pretend to remember only Kim, like the others... Otherwise you would have understood that the transformation was my fault! Please forgive me... You are my best friend..." 

- "Grrr! I can't believe it! It's all your fault! These hellish weeks were your fault! Argh! Okay, I'll have time for revenge. Now let's take care of the important things. So the book you found turned me into "your ideal girlfriend"... Which explains why I'm an Asian girl. I know Asians are your favorite kind of girls. But now answer me: how soon will you be able to transform me back?" 

- "I... well, I haven't looked for a solution yet. After this trouble I'm afraid to use that book again. It's too unstable! I was hoping that over time you would get used to this new life of yours... After all, you are a beautiful girl! Maybe, over time... *ouch* That punch hurt!" 

- "And many more will come if you don't stop talking nonsense and hurry to find a counter-spell, you idiot!"

Black hole radiation

Now that I'm back from my mission, I think back to everything I've been through these past 6 months. Being chosen for the first space mission aimed at approaching a black hole to study it has been the greatest honor of my life. We have gathered incredible data, and we have made a huge contribution to increasing human understanding of the universe. But there are still things I don't understand.

We knew that proximity to a black hole could expose me to still unknown radiation. And it's understandable, however strange and unpredictable, that such radiations changed my Y chromosomes, turning them into X chromosomes. But why has my ethnicity changed too? And why did the chromosomal change take place after one month and the racial one after twice as long? There are undoubtedly so many things we have yet to understand about the universe and its mysteries. 

But for now the questions that worry me most are two more. Is this transformation permanent? And above all... How will I tell my wife who I really am? The government has kept secret what happened during the mission, so she doesn't know anything... It will be difficult to accept! And it will be even more difficult to save our relationship...

The Chinese mirror

 "What the fuck!?" 

He is Ron, an archaeologist, specializing in ancient Chinese artifacts. Today he was working on an ancient mirror found in a secret room under the palace of an ancient Chinese dynasty. He was trying to find out its origins and dating. According to the inscription on the back of the mirror, there was an ancient and amusing legend: whoever had mirrored themselves in that mirror during a particular position of the stars, would have swapped their life with another person who had mirrored themselves during the course of the history. A mirror capable of swapping people's lives? Able to bend space-time? "What a ridiculous legend", Ron thought. But evidently it wasn't that ridiculous, because today the mirror lit up while he was looking at himself in it. And a moment later he was no longer "himself". The image in the mirror is now that of a Chinese noble woman from a few centuries ago. How is that possible? But the most important question is: will Ron be able to find out when the stars are back in position to attempt to escape this terrifying situation?

Another problem

- "I don't care if you're a white man or a Chinese woman, I love you anyway. You are the love of my life. And I've always liked both men and women, so it won't be a problem." 

- "I love you too. Damn... I love you so much! But there is another problem we need to talk about. Stop, please. Maybe it's better if you sit down..." 

My girlfriend and I were supposed to get married, but her parents were absolutely against it. According to them she should have married a rich Chinese man, as they had decided for her. Their anger convinced them to turn to a wizard to get me out of the way before the wedding. They decided to transform me, to prevent me from marrying their daughter. So one day I woke up in the body of a Chinese woman: the racial change was their bonus for making fun of me. 

My girlfriend has helped me a lot these days, and she was very clear: she loves me in every body I am. The love she shows me every day allows me to resist, but my problems aren't just about my body. And I have to find the courage to talk to her about it. The magic that transformed me changed not only my body, but also... my "orientation". These days I realized that I still love my girlfriend, but that I have no "physical attraction" to her. I'm not just a Chinese woman. I am a straight Chinese woman.

First hours, then days, now...

"Woo... I'm back here... Damn! Who knows how long it will last this time..." 

You see me as a 30-year-old Japanese lady, but I'm actually a 30-year-old white guy. Until a year ago, mine was a normal life. Then one day I felt a strange sensation, like a strong hiccup. In an instant I found myself in another place, and I felt very strange. Looking around, I saw a room with Japanese furnishings from at least a century ago. Looking down... I saw a body not mine! The body of a woman! I looked for a mirror, and I saw a beautiful Japanese woman! I was about to pass out, but I managed to stay calm! After two minutes I felt that strange feeling again... and in an instant I was back in my body, in my house! I thought it was a dream, but a week later it happened again. In that second experience I was in front of a waitress, who asked me if I felt ok... and I discovered I understand and can speak Japanese! After 10 minutes I had a strong hiccup and returned to my body. I found a note in my room, written in English... from the Japanese woman who was in my body moments before! She too had no idea what was happening to us, and she too was learning a language that wasn't hers while she was in my body. The next week it happened again, and the experience lasted about 20 minutes. The woman and I, who is called Yudeko, started organizing and helping each other. We exchanged all the information we needed. Apparently Yudeko lives in Japan in 1895! Throughout this year we have always left notes with directions on how to behave and what we had done while in each other's bodies. 

Week after week the duration of the mysterious phenomenon have increased. First hours, then days, now it lasts weeks. Last time I stayed in this body for 3 weeks, and after only 2 weeks in my body, here I am again! We are both looking for a solution, but if we don't find it quickly... I'm afraid of being stuck in this body forever! I don't want to get stuck in 19th century Japan, and especially not in a woman's body!

Am I hallucinating?

"What the heck happened! I was training on the running track, I got distracted to say hello to Abby on the bleachers and when I turned back I saw an Asian girl run over me. I must have passed out for a few moments. I hope that girl is fine... she seemed quite small and thin. I hope she didn't get hurt from the bump. Hey... am I hallucinating? What I see standing above me... is it me?!"

A better person than me

Luckily Rose is a better person than me. He's a better "Greg" than I am. If she

had abandoned me I don't know what I would have done.

8 months ago I spent the night with a beautiful black girl, and then I disappeared,

as usual.

The girl, Rose, was hurt by my behavior, but she tried to contact me only after

finding out that she got pregnant. 

I reacted badly... I disavowed the child, I called her "swindler", I told her that she

only wanted my money (I own many properties, while she is a maid). She ran

away in tears.

Her mother was furious when she discovered my behavior.

With her daughter Rose's consent, she used an ancient family spell to force me to

take my responsibilities: she swapped bodies between me and Rose!

I was scared and desperate, but the "new Greg" assured me that he would take

care of me and that he would help me during pregnancy. I was furious with him

for stealing my body and life, but his words reassured me.

I "moved" to "my home" together with "Greg", which is much better than Rose's

one-room flat.

"Greg" wanted us to get married, to "put things right" before the baby was born.

In any case, "Greg" has been a gentleman so far, I have to admit it.

Over time, we got to know each other, and I felt increasingly guilty about the way

I treated him when he was in this body...

Abandoning a woman pregnant with my child was incredibly cruel.

These months have been tremendous... pregnancy is really hard for women! But

it is right that I am the parent to live it. It is a fair punishment for my behavior.

I just hope Rose decides to give me my body back after giving birth.

I will be happy to take care of our son with her, but I would prefer to do it being

the father, instead of the mother...

Lessons learned

"Oh no... It can't be true..."

In the past two weeks I have learned some important lessons.

Lesson number 1: Don't shout racist slurs when there is a risk that a witch

could hear you. She may decide to punish you by turning you into a black guy.

Lesson number 2: If you've been transformed into a black guy by a witch,

accept the change without risking making things worse. If you look for the

witch for days and when you find her you call her "bitch" and you shout

other sexist insults, you could pay the consequences.

A few hours ago I threatened and insulted the witch who had punished me.

I didn't get my body back, and now I have undergone a further transformation.

Being a black guy wouldn't have changed my life too much; being a girl will

change my life a lot... But at least I learned from my mistakes and I will not

risk making my situation even worse! I'd rather avoid getting pregnant, or

losing half of my IQ...

It is better to accept this new life...

Traditional Japanese woman

"I'm very proud of you! Look at you! You are a perfect traditional Japanese

young woman! When I kidnapped you three years ago, you were a rude tourist.

You were one of the many young guys who come to my country to have fun,

with no respect for anyone. I watched you for days before choosing you. It was

clear that you were a young man with no values, and it was right to punish you.

Oh, I still remember your screams when you woke up in my basement! But

they were nothing compared to your screams when I transformed you with my

spell. An athletic 23-year-old boy turned into a skinny Japanese girl! Your face

the first time you looked in the mirror was amazing and adorable! How many

times have you tried to escape? How many times have you tried to attack me

during our strict lessons to turn yourself into a "perfect young lady"? You

really thought you could hurt me with that tiny body! Ahahahah But over time

you calmed down. Your new hormones and our lessons have started to take

effect. And now, in just three years, you are a perfect Japanese girl, and I can

plan your wedding with a good traditional husband who will take care of you.

You will be a good wife and a good mother. Oh don't cry! To see my little

creation crying with joy touches my heart! What did you say? Did I promise

to turn you back into a white boy and set you free if you were a good girl for

a few years? Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't remember such a promise. But now

let's go, today we have to choose the traditional dress that you will wear

during your meeting with your future husband. But first you have to do your

makeup again, after all this crying."

Racist grandmother

"Hug me honey, everything will be fine. I love you. The important thing

is that we are still together."

I knew my grandmother didn't approve of our wedding, but I didn't think

she would go that far.

My grandmother is a very racist woman, and when I told her I was going

to marry a black woman she tried to make me change my mind in every

way. She stopped talking to me from the day I said "I do".

I was sorry to cut ties with my grandmother, but obviously I would never

leave my wife.

I could not imagine that my grandmother practiced witchcraft, nor that

she wanted to punish me for my "betrayal".

Yesterday she sent me a letter that says "If you decided to betray me and

your blood for a black woman, maybe you deserve to be a black woman

yourself".

I didn't understand the meaning of those words, and I tried to phone my

grandmother, but she didn't answer.

This morning I woke up on the other side of the bed... I was in my wife's

body!

Now all I can do is hold my wife (who is in my body) tight.

I will have to try to convince my grandmother to cancel whatever magic

she has done, but I don't have much hope. My grandmother has always

been a very stubborn person, and I don't think she'll even want to talk to

me as long as I'm in this black body...