Privileged white man (Request)

"No fair! You are illegal immigrant, not I! Me don't want your life!

Give my life back to me, now!"

Yesterday I was a 20 year old student from a wealthy family.

On my way home from university, a black woman approached me,

shouting in bad English that I would pay for my sins as a "privileged

white man".

I tried to avoid that crazy woman, but she had time to jump on me

for a moment, pulling on my hair.

I pushed her away and ran away, hoping never to see her face again.

Too bad that this morning I woke up feeling very strange and in a

different (and dirtier) room than mine. And looking in the mirror in

front of the bed in this room, I saw that face with horror!

The madwoman's face!

The whole neighborhood probably heard my scream when I realized,

even visually, that I was a woman!

I immediately phoned my house, hoping to find some answers.

Someone replied in my voice, in a mocking tone.

As I screamed asking what was going on, I realized I was speaking

my language very badly.

My voice on the phone said: "Listen to me well, spoiled parasite. You

have lived a luxurious life thanks to the injustices of this racist and

sexist western society. My destiny would have been to live the rest

of my days in poverty, just to be born of "wrong" sex and race. You

Westerners have impoverished my country, and you have not even

legally accepted me in your country. You forced me to enter as a

clandestine, to try to have a future. Well, I can't take it anymore. I 

will no longer accept starvation wages because I have no documents;

I will no longer endure insults because I am black; I won't be bullied

anymore because I'm a woman. I will give this life to you, a young

white man raised among privileges. So you will understand how

many injustices you Westerners have generated. It took me months to

study this ritual, but it finally worked, and I'm free! A few of your

hairs were enough for the spell..."

We discussed for a few minutes, when I heard sirens approaching.

My voice on the phone started laughing:

"Ahahaha Obviously I prefer not to have you in the way, so I have

already called the police, reporting a clandestine to your address.

Surprise! You will start a new life in Africa! Goodbye, ex-privileged." 

It's all just a nightmare, isn't it?

[request by Indigo]