Worst. Lawyer. Ever.

"My lawyer is the worst lawyer ever. There's no other explanation." 

A year ago I fired my black maid because I caught her stealing from my house. She sued me, accusing me of firing her for racial reasons. I was sure of winning. I had footage of her stealing from my house, while she had no evidence. Yet after 8 months of trial... I lost in the worst possible way. I have no idea how it was possible! I was found guilty of aggravated racism and aggravated sexism! It was ridiculous! But anyway I thought I just had to pay a big compensation to the thieving maid. I was wrong. Apparently a new law against racism and sexism required me to undergo a series of operations and medical procedures to become a black woman myself! So I was held against my will in a government facility for 3 months... and I came out with a new, unwanted body. And I also found that the government transferred 85% of my assets to my former maid as moral compensation. So now I am poor, while she is much richer than me. This world is unfair. And my lawyer is definitely the worst in history.

Give me a sword!

"You have always been and always will be inferior to me! Ambushing me while I was hunting is proof that you have no honor. And using one of your filthy wizards to transform me into a woman shows that you are afraid of me! But if you think that this is enough to stop me, you are wrong! Free me from these chains and give me a sword, and I will show you that both in the body of a knight and in the body of a lady I am superior to you!"

Her lab assistant

"I don't care how hard it is! Find a way to swap our bodies again! I have a date with a girl tomorrow!" 

I shouldn't have taken this job! This woman was too weird! But I had just finished college, and she was willing to hire an inexperienced young man as her lab assistant. It seemed like a good opportunity to improve my curriculum. But I should have run away when I realized this woman was a mad scientist! Stupidly I decided to try to stay at least a couple of weeks... and here I am! After just one week she asked me to test neural helmets with her to communicate with thought. And due to a malfunction, the two of us mysteriously swapped bodies! This crazy woman better hurry and figure out how to get us back into the right bodies! I'm not going to spend days in this 35-year-old woman's body!

What did you just say?

- ""Kevin"? What did you just say? Did you call me Kevin?" 

- "What? Me? No..."  

- "Yes, I heard you clearly, you called me Kevin. And you are the first person to do it in two weeks, since I woke up in this body! Ben... why do you remember "the real me"?" 

- "I... I... it... could... maybe... be my fault..." 

-"WHAT!?" 

- "It was an accident! I swear it!" 

- "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" 

- "Well, three weeks ago I found an old book of spells in the attic. I enjoyed reading them, obviously believing they were fake. After a couple of days for fun I tried one of the easier spells ... and it worked! I was thrilled! I started planning a more complex spell that caught my attention: the spell "to create your ideal girlfriend." One night, two weeks ago, I thought I was ready to try the spell. I thought I would see "my ideal girlfriend" appear in front of me... but nothing happened. But the next morning, looking at my cell phone, I realized that I no longer had your number in my phone contacts. In its place was the number of a “Kim.” Asking our friends a few questions I realized that no one remembered Kevin: they all knew an Asian girl named Kim! Observing you during class it was evident that you remembered being Kevin. You behaved strangely and looked scared. Well... in order not to be hated by you I decided to pretend to remember only Kim, like the others... Otherwise you would have understood that the transformation was my fault! Please forgive me... You are my best friend..." 

- "Grrr! I can't believe it! It's all your fault! These hellish weeks were your fault! Argh! Okay, I'll have time for revenge. Now let's take care of the important things. So the book you found turned me into "your ideal girlfriend"... Which explains why I'm an Asian girl. I know Asians are your favorite kind of girls. But now answer me: how soon will you be able to transform me back?" 

- "I... well, I haven't looked for a solution yet. After this trouble I'm afraid to use that book again. It's too unstable! I was hoping that over time you would get used to this new life of yours... After all, you are a beautiful girl! Maybe, over time... *ouch* That punch hurt!" 

- "And many more will come if you don't stop talking nonsense and hurry to find a counter-spell, you idiot!"

The personality of the twins

Voiceover: "I'm more and more confused. Looking at her smile I don't recognize her! I'm her mother and I don't recognize her!" 

I don't understand. My twins have been acting weird for a month. My daughter has always been a gruff and aggressive tomboy. But for a month she has been very polite and sensitive. She has a sweet gaze, not her usual grim gaze. Yet deep in her eyes I perceive a deep sadness. I don't understand! And her brother had an opposite change! He was such a sensitive and quiet boy, but now he is bossy and aggressive. His look reminds me of his sister's previous one. Is it possible to have such a big personality change at 20? 

But there is more that worries me. During this month I have heard my daughter cry in her room almost every day. In front of me she tries to always be smiling, but I know that something is making her suffer. And there's more! Sometimes she seems almost scared of her brother... Why should she be afraid of him? So many questions... But when I try to talk to her, she changes the subject, or says "you wouldn't believe me", in a sad voice that breaks my heart. What should I do?

Breathe

"Okay. It's all right. Breathe. Keep calm. It's just your family." 

I've never been this nervous in my life. In a few seconds my parents and my sister will be walking through that door. They will see me for the first time since my transformation. I'm scared. What will they think? I explained them with messages and phone calls what happened to me... I told them about my misadventure with that evil witch of four months ago, and they believed me... They were just radiant to know I was fine. But seeing me in person will be different. My mother will see that I am no longer her "little boy". My father will realize that he has really lost his only son. My sister will see that I am no longer the older brother who has always protected her for the past 19 years, but a thin girl unable to protect anyone. They will see with their own eyes that Mark is no longer there. Maybe it was a mistake to contact them... Maybe I shouldn't have told them the truth. Maybe it would have been better if they thought I was just missing... I don't know. But now it's too late to change my mind. They are about to enter this room. I can only hope that they will continue to love me.

The melody in the woods

"Come on, nice rock, make some sound. Any sound. Give me some sign of life." 

Until 7 months ago Lucy was a young man, Lucas. One night while driving on a road in the woods, his car stopped. Lucas decided to go into the woods with a torch, to try to reach the nearby town. At one point he began to hear a strange, beautiful but mysterious melody. He decided to investigate. Big mistake.  

He continued to approach the source of the celestial melody, even though his body began to tremble in a strange way. He believed it was because of the cold and the agitation, but there was more. The vibrations of that melody were strange. Eventually Lucas reached the source: a rock among the trees. A very normal rock to the eye. Yet it gave off melodic vibrations. When Lucas came within inches to get a better look at it, the tremor of his body took over. Lucas felt his body change, transform. The clothes became much looser and the hair longer. Terrified, he ran away as fast as he could. After a few minutes of running, he tripped over his pants (now too baggy), and as he fell he hit his head and passed out. 

He woke up in the hospital of the nearby town: running he had almost reached it, and a passer-by had noticed him unconscious that morning. But waking up he had a surprise... his body had really changed... He was a she! The doctors believed that his words were due to the blow to the head. After two days Lucas realized that by telling the truth they would lock him up in an asylum. And he needed freedom, to be able to find that mysterious rock. It was his only hope. 

So he pretended he simply had amnesia, and got help to get some papers. Her new name was Lucy, at least until that rock was found. Lucy decided to move to that town, in order to continue her research on a daily basis. Unfortunately she had walked and run in the woods for a long time, and in the middle of the night... so it would not be easy to find he rock. And after 7 months the searches are still going on. In that wood there are many, many rocks...