"Good evening. Today I owe an explanation to all the viewers of our beloved News. I'm your news anchor Jonathan Smiths and, as many of you know, yesterday I uttered various sexist phrases while I thought I was off the air. I know many of you were shocked and angry, and I apologize. Our Network executives gave me two options: immediate firing or undergoing a "chromosomal alteration procedure" to demonstrate my solidarity with the female gender. This job is my life, so I chose the second option, even if frightened by the profound change that awaited me. So tonight I introduce myself to you as Jane Smiths, 100% female, repentant for the uncivilized phrases I uttered. This will be my gender and my body for the next 12 months, at least. After that period a disciplinary commission will evaluate my behavior. If the commission gives a favorable vote, I will be allowed to get my Y chromosome back. I apologize again to all of you kind viewers. And now let's start with the first news for the day... [...]" Unfortunately for Jonat... Jane, the campaign against her by numerous feminist groups will still force the Network to fire her a week later. And the "chromosomal alteration procedure" is not repeatable for at least a year, for health reasons. It will be a very tough year for Jane.
No comments:
Post a Comment