No real damage

 

- "I don't think it's broken, thankfully. But you'll have to put ice on it." 

- "What did I tell you? No real damage." 

- "But you have to stop looking for trouble. You seem to like finding excuses to fight." 

- "Well, it's very satisfying actually. All my life I've been small and weak, and I couldn't gain muscle in any way. Now I finally have a body that makes me feel strong and confident." 

- "Too bad that body is mine! And I would appreciate it if you don't destroy it in the time it takes to figure out what happened to us and get back into our respective bodies." 

- "Destroy it? As I said before, "no real damage". And in fact, I'm improving it. In this month I have made it more athletic than before. In five or six months I will have an incredible body!" 

- "In five or six months I hope we will be ourselves again! What's wrong with you?!" 

- "Sorry, sorry, of course we will continue to look for a solution for our swap. But try to understand me... You know I've always been a tomboy, so for me it's a... unique experience. I can finally see the world with a man's eyes. A tall, strong man. Nobody looks at me as if I'm inferior, or adorable, or in need of help. And to be honest it's nice to have no more problems due to my skin color... " 

- "Yeah, there are really bad people out there... I noticed that this month."

 - "I'm sorry I had to pass this "problem" over to you... 

- "It's not your fault. But you can do something for me if you want to cheer me up." 

- "I could never say no to such a pretty girl." 

- "Ha ha ha. I'm serious." 

- "Ok, ok..." 

- "No more fights." 

- "Mmm..." 

- "Come on, you owe me! That's my body!" 

- "Ok, but on one condition." 

- "That is?" 

- "A date. This Saturday. You, me, a restaurant and a movie of your choice." 

- "I... but... what... You... Are you attracted to me?" 

- "Long before our swap. But now I feel pretty confident enough to ask you for a date. I know it's weird to ask my body for a date... but I'm attracted to who is inside it. You." 

- "I... I have to think about it... I would never have imagined..." 

- "I understand. But until that date or until we get back into our bodies, no "no fights" guarantee. Only "no real damage" guarantee." ;)

Uncomfortable bed, uncomfortable life

 

"Argh! Come on! There must be a more comfortable position! Even her bed is uncomfortable! Is there anything about my neighbor's life that doesn't get on my nerves?" 

Ever since my neighbor and I mysteriously swapped bodies, my life has been tremendously annoying. We are both 18 years old and in our last year of high school. But I was a popular football player, and she was a geek nerd. It is also for this reason that we have never become friends even though we have been neighbors for years. 

We are so different! Her bedroom is too childish, her clothes too feminine and out of fashion (I feel ridiculous wearing them!), her few friends are very boring, her mother is demanding in everything, her athletic skills are below zero... and even her bed is very uncomfortable! What the hell is that mattress?!

For the good of the kingdom

 

- "I don't understand. Why can't we let anyone know?" 

* voiceover *: "Because the kingdom cannot stand any more instability. The situation is already worrying after your father's death. We cannot tell the people that the sorcerer who killed their king has also cast a spell on the prince and the princess, before he is killed. We cannot let neighboring kingdoms know that the heir to the throne is in the body of a frail damsel. We would be vulnerable to their attacks. We must make them believe that the kingdom has stability despite the death of your father."  

- "But how long will we have to keep this secret, mother? How soon will I be able to return to my body?" 

- We don't know how long it will take. Some trusted soldiers are undercover searching for wizards who can help us. But it could take a long time. In the meantime, you and your sister will have to assume the roles of your bodies. This means your sister will be crowned king in three days. 

- "What?! But mother, the crown is MY destiny..." 

- "That's enough. I explained our predicament to you. We need a king in charge, and you can't be right now. Your younger sister will be the king until we find out how to reverse the spell. 

-"But..." 

- "You, in the meantime, will have to quickly learn how to behave like a princess. You will be required to maintain a feminine and graceful demeanor, appropriate to your role. In a month there will be the ball for your sister's (now yours...) 20th birthday, and there will be many princes from neighboring kingdoms. It will be necessary to marry one of them to strengthen our alliances, so you must be ready to strike them with your grace, "princess". 

- "Mother, you can't be serious..." 

- "I am very serious. And you will obey, for the good of the kingdom. Do I make myself clear?" 

- "..." 

- "It is polite to answer when your mother talks to you." 

- "For the good of the kingdom..." 

- "Exactly. Now it will be better to start your training. You will have to start getting used to move gracefully in uncomfortable women's formal dresses."

Nothing left of me

 

"It's not my reflection. It's not me. No." 

I feel like I am inside a bubble. Time has slowed down. It is a traumatic moment to say the least. For the first time since I underwent this damn transformation, I surrendered to my sister's demands. For several days she has been pestering me asking to let her do my makeup for the first time. I didn't think looking in the mirror after she finished would be such a shock. But for the first time, I no longer see anything of the old me. The person I saw in the mirror for 23 years is 100% missing. There is nothing left of me.

Witch hunt

 - "You know what? I give up. This hunt ends here for me." 

* voiceover *: "What?! You can't give up now! After everything we've done to get here! After all we've sacrificed!" 

- ""We've sacrificed"? "WE"?! The only person who has lost everything is me. You told me it was going to be an easy job. You spotted a witch and convinced me that we could have stolen a lot of precious magical items. Too bad that witch knew how to defend herself! Each time she manages to escape. And every time before disappearing she throws a curse against us. And the curse hits me EVERY TIME! The first time she turned me into a girl. And I foolishly kept chasing the witch hoping to find out how to reverse the spell. The second time she changed my ethnicity and my accent. I became an undocumented Indian immigrant girl! I should have given up at that point... But stupidly I let you persuade me to continue. And she cursed me a third time. Now I'm not just a 25 year old Indian girl, but a 40-something year old Indian woman! Every time my situation gets worse. So I don't care what you can offer me: I give up. I don't want to make my life any worse. Best wishes with your witch hunt. If you manage to catch her or get some magical item from her that can give me my life back, let me know. Goodbye."

Gossip magazine

- "What's up? Why are you looking at me like that?"  

* voiceover 1: "Well, we've never seen you reading a gossip magazine, Mark..." 

* voiceover 2: "Yeah, you usually read science journals or historical novels. Are you sure you're feeling good?" 

- "Sure! I'm not particularly interested in this gossip magazine, but I feel relaxed reading it. First I tried to read one of my scientific journals, but I understood very little of that and I got a headache. Reading this one seems more... "natural". 

1: "Mmm, apparently that machine didn't just swap bodies between you and Kate, but other elements as well. The situation gets even more complicated." 

2: "We have to find a way to repair it and exchange you as soon as possible! If it has also exchanged your intellects and parts of your personalities, the situation is even more serious!" 

- "Like, sure! We have to hurry up and fix it. But I don't think I can help you much by now. All those codes and those circuits confuse me... Even thinking about them gives me a headache." 

1: "Without your help it will be even more difficult, but we will do our best..." 

2: "Don't worry Mark, we won't give up until we get your body and intellect back. And we could ask Sarah for help. She probably has your intellect and could make our job a lot easier." 

- "Well... I don't think she has much time to devote to repairing that machine... There is a rumor on campus that she is spending a lot of time with Sally, her best friend. The one who has always had a crush on me." 

1: "Oh. Oh... This situation keeps getting more and more complicated."

Family dinners

* fake smile * "Sure, mom." * sigh *

I think I'm about to explode. These family dinners are torture now. It was not like that once. My first 23 years of life my parents left me free to live my life as I wanted. But since that virus changed my y chromosomes to x chromosomes, everything has changed. My father became overprotective, and stopped inviting me to games. I still love sports! Now he spends a lot more time with my brother. 

But the one I can't stand is my mother! She keeps taking me shopping or to the hairdresser every weekend. Every month she tries to introduce me to at least a couple of "perfect boyfriends for me". She can't accept that I don't feel ready to date anyone! I haven't even figured out yet if I prefer boys or girls in this body! And during family dinners she keeps asking me awkward questions. Questions about my love life. Questions about what I think of my "male friends". Questions about when I'm going to give her grandchildren! Questions and advice about my "monthly visitor"! Not to mention the tips on how to dress, comb my hair, talk, walk, etc... I decided to follow some of those tips hoping that she would be satisfied, but now it's even worse! One more word on the need to "behave in a feminine way to find a man" and I'm off!